It’s no news that Yoruba people live and breathe parties. Every weekend, it’s either a wedding, funeral, birthday, housewarming or even divorce party as I’ve been noticing. The good thing about owanbes is that you don’t have to be invited. A friend of a friend knows the cousin of the groom? Don’t be shy, dust your Thanksgiving agbádá and your favorite shoe; voila your first  mo-gbó-mo-yà.
      To successfully plan an owanbe that would be the talk of town, you need to do the following things. Disclaimer:if it doesn’t work out, I didn’t force you to do anything ooo.

         ASOEBI             Osé jàre, mi ò lóòré òsì

An owanbe without asoebi? Are you even serious at all?? How would one identify the creme de la creme of the party? The elites of the owanbe whose fashion designers studied in Harvard (fashion designer tó lo Harvard, ko easy nau). Your asoebi must not be cheap. If it costs ten thousand naira, tell them its fifty thousand naira. If it’s not expensive, they’ll say it’s not quality and you’re broke. You don’t want that, do you?

     FOOD AND CONSUMPTIONFood should never be enough. The goal is to celebrate with you, not stuff themselves with as much food as they can. How would they be able to dance when it’s time to spray you money?? Think about it. While some of your guests are hoarding rice and indomeeen, other will complain that they haven’t eaten. Plaster a smile on your face, apologize and blame the caterers. Iya Michael must have stolen some packs of rice.

The motto for the day is : kò ra ànkàrá, kò je sèmó. After refusing to buy your asoebi because she was ‘broke’, Iya Bólá wants to collect souvenirs, she must be a joker😂😂. If she was a true friend, she’d hustle for the money. Make sure you share everything in her presence and if she says “you haven’t given me”. Tell her you thought you did, apologize and promise she’ll be the first to collect souvenirs at your next owanbe. Both of us know you’re lying though, you won’t invite her.   

If after these free tips, your owanbe still flops, don’t even bother again. Enjoy your status as a guest and know people.

Images and gifs from Google andKemi Adetiba’s “the wedding party” and “king of boys”

7 thoughts on “THE OWANBE

    1. Hehe😅. Your profile is very accurate; it makes me wonder how much more you’d have to say descriptively, while not going into detail, about yourself.
      This is quite the owambe. It’s a very entertaining write-up. What kanai say? You did good, rookie.

      It’s also a welcome deviation from your scary side.

      Liked by 1 person

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